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My day started with work like any other work day and it was a busy one at that. Lots of requests, lots of problems to solve. But busy feels good and makes time to by faster.

Mom made me some burgers for dinner. I picked up Dad. Soon after I went to watch the NBA draft in Hillside at Chadwicks. We watched it and then we watched the first 45 mins of Sicario which seems like a good movie.

Then something crazy happened. Chadwick asked for my help holding a vial that contained his fat loss drug. He just wanted me to hold the vial while he use a syringe to extract the proper amount to inject into himself. Conceptually, this doesn’t sound gross or disturbing to me. In the moment, when I was in the bathroom with him my subconscious took over. Internally I was very freaked out even though outwardly I was entirely unbothered. I started having a panic attack, something I hadn’t experienced probably since middle school.

Everything started feeling static-y. My perception was becoming more narrow, I lost the ability to focus, my senses were becoming less pronounced. And ultimately I felt like I was dying in the moment. I distinctively remember at the time feeling like my life was over, this is how it ended. I thought maybe I was drugged, maybe I was poisoned. But I was pretty sure I was having an emergency. So then I walk outside the room. I don’t see Chadwick because he had gone to get something from his bedroom.

I then physically lose the ability to stand and my head slams against the wall. Chadwick seemed a little alarmed by this, checking in on me. It was It was embarrassing, so I assured him I was fine even though I felt anything but. I was on the ground. I got up, then we upstairs and I had some water. I drove home and reflected on what a uniquely terrifying and eye opening experience that was. I never knew I had a deep-down fear of needles, but I don’t think the proof gets any more clear.

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Created 2026-06-23T23:45:25 · extracted 2026-06-23T23:49:43.143070 · mirrored to Apple Journal